Cardinal José Cobo Cano, Archbishop of Madrid, raised a question at the Vatican that he himself left open: if the Church affirms that marriage is a vocation, how is that vocation discerned? He did so on the fourth day of the meeting “Ten Years of Amoris laetitia: Proclaiming the Gospel with Families Today,” convened by Leo XIV from October 7 to 14 with the heads of the Eastern Catholic Churches and the presidents of the episcopal conferences, according to Vatican News.
The session, dedicated to the early years of married life, was opened by Cardinal Kevin Farrell, Prefect of the Dicastery for Laity, Family and Life. Farrell acknowledged that the efforts made since the Second Vatican Council to enrich marriage preparation do not always suffice to support newlyweds when children are born or the first difficulties arise.
From Preparing the Wedding to Accompanying Marriage
Cobo maintained that Amoris laetitia has “opened new pastoral horizons,” but warned that the first challenge is not to develop more programs, but to understand the reality of the couples one wishes to accompany. In his view, the exhortation invites us to understand marriage not only as a sacrament that is celebrated, but as a vocation that is lived and cultivated throughout life.
The central proposal attributed to him by the Vatican media outlet is to move from a preparation focused on the wedding to an accompaniment before, during, and after marriage, and from a pastoral approach of isolated moments to a “pastoral of continuity.” The cardinal distinguished between asking what fiancés need to know in order to marry and what they need to discover in order to know whether they are called to give themselves definitively to one another.
“The Fiancés’ Clock” and an Unanswered Question
The archbishop cited as an example “the fiancés’ clock,” a proposal that Madrid offers alongside premarital courses so that the couple can dedicate time to talking, reviewing their story, praying, and discerning. It was there that he formulated the question he left open: if a couple arrives after eight or ten years of relationship and with the decision already made, “is there really space for discernment?”
A well-conducted pastoral interview and the formation of those who accompany can open paths, he acknowledged, “but the question remains unanswered.” He also defended the role of married couples who accompany other couples, not as experts but from lived experience.
Ten Years of a Contested Exhortation
Amoris laetitia, signed by Francis on March 19, 2016, following the synods of 2014 and 2015, had an uneven reception. Its Chapter VIII, on access to the sacraments for the divorced and civilly remarried, prompted that same year the dubia of four cardinals, which received no formal response. None of this appears in what was published about Saturday’s session.
Vatican News only reports fragments of Cobo’s intervention. The Archbishop of Madrid, Vice-President of the Spanish Episcopal Conference, does not attend ex officio—that position belongs to its president, Bishop Luis Argüello—but as one of the twenty-two personal invitees of Leo XIV, according to InfoVaticana. The meeting is being held behind closed doors in the Paul VI Hall and will conclude on October 14 with a Mass presided over by the Pope in St. Peter’s Square.